


Not Without Flaws

by sweatertown



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, This is so sappy, if you squint i guess - Freeform, jeffmads - Freeform, you might as well pour it on your pancakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-10 04:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7830874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweatertown/pseuds/sweatertown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short fluffy fic in which Thomas Jefferson calms down a very anxious James Madison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Without Flaws

_Crunch!_ Yet another leaf was crumbled to dust. _Crunch!_ Another one scattered into pieces and tumbled across the sidewalk. _Crunch! Crunch!_ Thomas Jefferson smiled to himself. He adored the sound of the crisp fall leaves breaking under his feet. He quickened his pace and grinded more leaves against the pavement.

He sighed. He loved autumn, with all its beautiful colors, satisfying sounds, and nice weather. It was the season in which school had just begun for him. He felt refreshed from having a long summer break and then going back to school. He enjoyed indulging in the things he loved the most. His work, his major, and his boyfriend were a few of his favorite things.

His boyfriend would be expecting him home by now. Thomas was nearly an hour late, with his bike breaking and all. He broke into a jog when he turned the corner, watching his apartment building grow closer as he neared it. Its brick facade swayed more and more in his shaky vision as he sped up.

His heart sped with joy and excitement of relaxing after a slow school day. He swung open the door and raced up the winding stairs. Thomas’ mind went through all the possibilities of the evening. He could have a cup of tea, do a little homework, watch a movie with his boyfriend, and if all went well, maybe even get a little intimate with him.

He arrived at the top floor, methodically fiddling with his keys to enter his shared apartment. He burst through the door with such vigor. The kitchen and living room were surprisingly absent.

“James?” He called out. “Are you here?”

There was no answer. Thomas carefully creeped down the hallway, in case he accidentally startled his boyfriend. The door to their bedroom was closed, not uncommon for someone like James, who was a bit of an introvert. Thomas opened it just a crack and poked his head through.

Sitting on the bed, wrapped in a nest of blankets, was James Madison. He did not notice Thomas enter, keeping his eyes focused on the television. He looked immensely tired. The bags under his eyes and a slack expression gave him away.

“J-James?” Thomas stuttered in confusion. His boyfriend slowly turned to face him with a weak smile.

“Hi”, he whispered hoarsely, turning off the TV for Thomas.

Thomas dropped his backpack to the floor and approached James. “What’s wrong babe ?” He cupped a hand around the other man’s cheek. “Are you si-” he stopped. He could feel a wetness on his boyfriend's cheeks. Were those tears?

He slowly retracted his hand, placing it on the other’s hand instead. “Babe, have you been crying?”

“No,” James replied with a small voice. He lifted a palm to wipe away the remains of tears on his face. “I’m fine”.

Thomas sighed. He sunk down to fill the space on the bed next to James. He grabbed his other hand and was now holding both his boyfriend's hands gently. “Come on… Tell me what happened”

James sighed and pulled both hands back. He was fiddling with his shirt hem when he decided to confess. “I panicked today… I-It was nothing… Just some anxiousness”.

There was silence in the room for a minute. Thomas didn’t know how to react. He was never good at comforting people but he hated seeing his boyfriend like this. With every moment that passed, the silence grew louder for James. It was just an emptiness that crushed him for every second someone didn’t speak. He could feel the pinpricks of tears behind his eyes again.

Then there was the warmth of arms reaching around him, holding him close, pulling him tighter. Thomas had him locked in a bear hug, his face buried in James’ neck. Silence filled the room again. With every second that passed, multiple scenarios flickered through James’ mind.

Was it silent because his boyfriend was disappointed? Was it silent because he was crying, too? Was it silent because he was considering taking him to therapy again? _Therapy_ … James thought.

“I was doing so well…” He whispered, his voice breaking a bit under his own disappointment.

“Shh, I know, I know”, Thomas reassured him. He placed a small kiss on James’ cheek. “Did you remember your coping mechanisms?”

James sighed. “Yeah… I did exactly as you said, Tom. I kept my head up high…”

“I know, I know. You did everything just right”.

“Even before I counted to ten… I felt like I might cry”.

“Shh, I know, I know. Save your strength.” He cupped the other’s face again, pecking him on his forehead. “Why don’t you take a break? Let’s go outside, visit a lake, or a park,” he offered.

James shook his head. He leaned back on the bed, covering his eyes with his arm. “I’d rather just take a nap. I’m exhausted”.

Thomas plopped down on the empty space next to him. “Mind if I join you, _mon chou_?” James smirked. “What? What’s so funny?”

“So you speak French now?” He teased, removing his arm and turning to gaze at his boyfriend.

“Hey, you spend a year in France on an exchange student program and you learn to pick up a few things”.

James let out a low, crackly, chuckle. He turned on his side and wrapped his arms around Thomas and pulled him closer to his chest. His hug was soft and warm, filled with pure affection for his significant other.

There was just quiet as they both cuddled, breathing in and out calmly, memorizing each others breathing patterns, trying to match so they could be in unison.

The silence was broken when James spoke again. “Teach me how to speak French”.

“What?”

James slowly opened an eye. “Please?”

Thomas chuckled. “Alright”, he said, wrapping a lanky arm around the other’s waist. “ _Je suis fier de toi_ ”.

“What’s that mean?”

“I’m proud of you”.

James’ breath caught in his throat. “Huh?”

“I’m proud of you. You tried your hardest to overcome your anxiety. Even if you failed, you followed all the steps and made an attempt. Nobody is perfect. We are not without flaws. _Je suis fier de toi_ ”.

James didn’t know how to respond. This was one of the few times his boyfriend praised him. Thomas was not exactly the smoothest when it came to romance.

“ _Tu es le meilleur_ ”, Thomas cooed.

James smiled. “Care to translate for me?”

“You’re the best”.

James could feel the blood rushing to his face. Why was Thomas being so nice today?

“You too,” he mumbled awkwardly.

“ _Merci_. Okay, just one last phrase. _Je t’aime”._

James felt his heart skip a beat. They had been dating for a little over 3 years now, but every time his boyfriend said that, he couldn’t help but feel ecstatic.

He leaned closer to Thomas’ face and cocked an eyebrow. “What does that mean?” He asked through a smirk.

Thomas scoffed. “You know what that means”. James let him out of the hug and folded his arms across his chest.

“Nope”, he said, feigning innocence. “No idea”. Thomas groaned and propped himself up on his elbow. A flustered expression crossed his face. “Tell me”, James insisted.

Thomas sighed in defeat. He leaned into James more, their noses almost touching. He cherished those deep brown eyes, yearning to be lost in their captivating dark sea. “I love you”.

Almost immediately after he uttered those three words, a hand tugged his shirt collar and Thomas was thrown into a long kiss. James ran a hand through the other’s hair, while Thomas flung his arms over his shoulders, hugging his neck closer.

When they pulled away, James had the biggest smile plastered across his face. Thomas could feel his heart melt. He’d succeeded in making his boyfriend happier. In that moment he knew he would always be around to help him out.

Just before the couple dozed off, James uttered a few simple words, so faint it was almost soundless in his sleepy daze.

“I love you too”.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my first (posted) fic!
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated!!


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